Quest for Certainty

I can imagine a tribe huddled in a cave deciding who is to pull watch that night. Several candidates are available, some of which have been known to fall asleep in the quiet, wee hours of the night, others have the reputation of being alert to every sound in the forest outside. Perhaps, in some very foreign, lost language, they ponder, "Who do we choose for tonight's watch?" The fact that a big grizzly had been sited near the cave in recent suns would have weighed heavily on their minds as they unanimously chose Argh, the most watchful one. Certainty increased their likelihood of survival.

That instinctive desire for certainty is, of course, present in our lives today. Which path is more certain for me to achieve my goal in this world? What education, which mate, which job, which stocks do I choose to ensure happiness, fulfillment and success? Certainty is usually, but sometimes unstated, a salient factor of our selection process. But to the extent certainty is not achievable, uncertainty is present. 

Perhaps more apparent than in any other human quest, the pursuit of a personal understanding of our spiritual nature is fraught with uncertainty. In a recent conversation with a friend of mine I was informed of my misguided ways -- that since I did not accept Jesus as my personal savior (as my friend's teacher defines it), I would not enter into heaven or know God in the afterlife. Furthermore, I was told, he could not imagine how we could possibly use the Bible as a basis of the teachings of our spiritual community since, having read the homepage of our website, he knew we did not accept the literal truth of "Scripture". Scornfully dismissing the validity of an individual's ability to interpret "Scripture", he stated we should rely upon other "more knowledgeable men" as the experts. It was a test of my patience, to be sure!

My friend achieved his remarkable success in the world through a disciplined application of reason and a powerful personal presence that proved very persuasive in his career. In his worldly affairs, certainty had been his guiding light. But in his "born again" transformation, it seems he has released his reliance on reason in the face of the uncertainty of his spiritual quest. To increase his certainty, he has chosen to accept the Bible as being literally true; thus, he is uninterested in the history of its formulation. Apparently disregarding its inconsistencies and inappropriate teachings in today's society (for example, on slave ownership), he leans heavily on only those passages he has been told are important, using the interpretations others have defined and ignoring the illogical conclusions arising from those inculcated interpretations. In his spiritual quest, certainty has become his blinding light.

Perhaps certainty is not the ultimate consideration of our spiritual quest. Follow the logic (sacrilege!) here: Certainty induces expectations. Expectations filter perceptions. Perceptions color our experience. Our experience informs our understanding. The logical conclusion is our quest for understanding of our spiritual nature is limited by our certainty. If our spiritual quest is to gain an understanding of our spiritual nature, then certainty must be released and uncertainty celebrated.

To the extent we are able to celebrate uncertainty, expectations will be released, perceptions will be less filtered, and experience will reveal a trove of lessons of who we are and of our relationship with the Divine. What could be more useful in our quest?

Unveiled in Vail

It's a beautiful, hot summer day in Vail, CO. Honored to be part of a wedding ceremony to be held at the top of the Eagle Bahn Gondola,  Linda and I have had the opportunity to mosey around Vail, perusing the shops ($225 for a western hat that would fetch, maybe, $80 in Denver), enjoying the beautiful gardens and planters kept so immaculately trimmed by the Vail city staff. All in all, a delightful visit.

Perhaps the beautiful scenery above and within the town is why the visitors seem to be very friendly. On the ride up the gondola yesterday to the wedding rehearsal I had the opportunity to meet two young couples visiting from New York City. Remarking on the ambiance of Vail Village and the friendliness of the people, one of the women said, "You know, I've always thought that I and my friends were friendly, but using this as a standard, I can see why people think of New Yorkers as rude." Continuing our ride to the top, I didn't think they were rude at all -- just friendly folks from the right coast, in my mind.

On my ride back down the mountain, I was blessed with meeting two "30-somethings", professional guys from Atlanta that were in town for a week with their wife and girlfriend (I'm assuming that was one wife for one fellow and one girlfriend for the other, but I didn't want to embarrass myself and ask for clarification). A fun, open conversation about everything from the pine beetle infestation to the fires of Southern Colorado to the apparent change in slope of the mountainside once snow covers it. Really, it was a great conversation! At the bottom, the conversation continued as we waited for the Village bus to take us back to Vail Village from Lionshead.

Once on the bus, being at one end of the line, seats were readily available (the buses have a good deal of space set aside to "standing only" -- imagine riders with skis or snowboards in hand). Grabbing one seat, at the next stop a family climbed on board with the alpha male's arm freshly bandaged. With his wife's insistence and with me telling him I wouldn't squeeze his knee, he consented to sitting down. The family had been up the mountain earlier in the day with rented mountain bikes. In an apparent show of bravado, the fellow had met the mountain with unfortunate results, a gash in the top of the forearm; the Village hospital was the beneficiary of that zero-sum game. But, once again, the whole family of five was full of joy and good humor. It was truly a delightful experience to spend a few minutes with them.

Of all those met and greeted, even of those walking down the streets -- and the shops, restaurants and hotel staff included -- I noticed only one scowl on the face of a young woman walking briskly down the street (perhaps in the midst of a lover's quarrel or maybe she just tried to buy a hat?).

So the question is, "Why all these friendly people?" Could it be that this is our nature, when taken out of the stresses of our day-to-day lives? That is, our true nature is unveiled when we set aside those things that we hide behind -- including our self-imposed stress! In the end, our stress is always self-imposed. So whether we're in Vail or Denver or New York City or Timbuktu (yes, even there), we can choose to unveil our nature and be the friendly beings we are designed to be. 

Bluish

I am blessed to be invited to officiate at a wedding this week. I attempt in each wedding to tie the colors of the wedding party together with a suit to blend with the groomsmen wardrobe and a tie to pull in the bridesmaids' colors. The bride is the daughter of a friend with whom I worked many years ago. The groom is from a land far, far away, the inhabitants of which speak a language called "Strine". But being "a man's man", I should have anticipated that when I asked him what are the colors of the bridesmaids' dresses, he would have answered as most men might; he said "bluish". Remarking to him, "Spoken like a man", I realized that, indeed, that might have been the way I might have responded!

Turning to my ever-present friend, G. Oogle, I queried, "shades of blue". Not to disappoint, G. gave me this handy resource: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Shades_of_blue. Men, you no longer have an excuse -- at least as far as blue is concerned.

Granted, I live with a very talented, color-educated woman. She could have answered with at least a dozen different names of shades of blue, red, green, grey or white. So perhaps I should be more patient with myself for anticipating something a bit more specific than "bluish". But it brings up a point -- many of the women I know are far more conversant with colors than I. Is this a gender skill trained in the secrets classrooms of females? Does it come from too much time in front of fingernail polish displays? Or is there a genetic component located somewhere on the Y-chromosome that predisposes women to be proficient "colorati"? When I walk through Home Depot I notice more women in front of the paint chip racks than men. Perhaps there's a "color magnetism" that causes the female navigation system to find and be interested in the various shades.

But wait! Every commercial printer chooses the ink shades for the printed products from a chart labeled PMS Colors. The mystery is solved! But I guess that skill comes with a price...

One Weird Trick

Ever noticed those small ads at the bottom or to the side of online articles that include the phrase "weird trick"? "A pro golfer reveals how one weird trick gets you a 20 yard longer, straighter drive." "One weird trick saves you a ton on car insurance." "A suburban housewife reveals one weird trick that makes the kids quiet down." "One weird trick reduces your weight by 30 lbs." Weird tricks must be fascinating to people because those ad writers can tell the number of hits their ads get, and that phrase keeps popping up.

So let me try it, "One weird trick ensures you have a happier, more peaceful life." Hey, this is easy! "One weird trick brings more joy to your life." Another one, "One weird trick makes your relationships more fulfilling and meaningful." Wow, I could go on, "One weird trick helps you be more productive and prosperous." Fantasies of a weird copywriter? Or maybe a copywriter that has absolutely no idea what he's talking about or perhaps is just outright lying? Maybe.

Or maybe not. What if there was "one weird trick" that did all that? Looking up the definition of "weird" at www.thefreedictionary.com we find, 'Of, relating to, or suggestive of the preternatural or supernatural'. This required that I look up "preternatural", 'Out of or being beyond the normal course of nature, differing from what is natural.'

Some would say that the trick I offer that would do all of the things I suggested above is 'unnatural', 'not normal' or 'superhuman'. So in that sense, 'weird' might apply. But the reality is that what I suggest is natural, normal (in the sense everyone can do it) and very human (I contend that it is our very nature). Moreover, it doesn't cost a thing. Perhaps that is why it is not common; no one has been able to patent it, profit from it and therefore, has not vigorously promoted it.

Certainly you'll see books written about it (spoiler alert: I've even written one), workshops conducted with it as a central theme and various scriptures repeatedly referencing it. But the weird thing about it is that few people practice it. I can confidently say that because the condition of the world testifies to its absence.

The one weird trick? Give unconditional love in every situation, in every circumstance, in every relationship. Without exception. In every moment.

How will you know if you're practicing unconditional love? You'll find you have no expectations of others -- you'll see them as they are, with no baggage. You'll celebrate their wholeness, regardless of whether they realize it or not. You'll have no expectations of the moment -- you'll rejoice in its richness. You'll be unencumbered by the "woulda's, shoulda's and coulda's", and able to focus on the moment, doing what you are called to do without distraction. And you'll be guided to the highest and the best for all concerned, led by love and expressing that love.

Some might even think you're weird.